Dealing With Your Sh*t

"Let me love you."

After almost seven long years, I have finally decided to starting dealing with my sh*t. Carrying almost a decade's worth of emotional baggage has gotten too heavy and I am ready to lighten my load and let it all go. Maybe even be willing to let someone help me carry for me.

I've recently had a breakthrough and I wanted to briefly share with all of you what is happening in my world. 

This afternoon I started meeting with a life coach, who just so happens to be a fellow writer and friend, as a collaboration on dating after divorce. 

One of the benefits of writing is opportunities to collaborate on projects. Over the years, I have been offered to have  my works featured on major publications, personal coaching and I have even been contacted by a production company to star in a reality series. 

I've turned down several projects as it didn't feel it was right for life, but I immediately I knew I wanted to take on this challenge. 

At the end of the day, what do I really have to lose?

I get to be part of an exciting case study and have the great opportunity to share my experiences with readers around the world. 

When she first proposed her idea to me, I was excited to be a part of such a empowering experience, but also hesitant because I understood I would be delving deep into parts of my past that were painful. 

However, I do have the sincere desire to open my heart and life again to a good man, which means I needed to finally start dealing with all the messy emotional sh*t I have been avoiding for such a long time. 

Although, I will be waiting to publish my experiences that are specific to this project a few months from now, I did want to share my excitement and enthusiasm to begin this journey into true healing. 

Once it is ready to be published, I will share with all of you all the details of my personal experiences with life coaching to help me over come obstacles I have faced with healing after divorce and make positive changes in my dating life.

On the surface, I may appear completely healed, but deep down I know that there are parts of me that need work. 

No matter how much I would love to be in a happy and healthy relationship, I have a major roadblock that I have been having difficultly overcoming. 

For example, just this week two of my very close friends got engaged and both are getting remarried. While I am genuinely happy for both of them, I still cannot help to feel pain and resentment when I even hear the word "marriage".

We all have emotional triggers. Mine is marriage. 

It's not that I enjoy hating marriage, but I cannot help but be honest with my feelings. I would be disingenuous if I told you that I cannot wait to get married again, because I want absolutely nothing to do with it. 

Several years ago, I caught the bride's bouquet at a wedding. Literally I was hiding in the very back of the group of single women vying for the spot to be next in line to marry. Yet, it landed right in my hands. 

I have never been the type of woman who had dreams of a big white wedding; going through a difficult divorce made me never want to go through it again.

I hate the feelings I have associated with marriage. I hate my negative experiences with marriage. I hate the fact that I hate it so much. 

Maybe I am secretly jealous and confused why so many easily remarry quickly, yet it evades me. I gave up on marriage a long time ago. 

I wonder if I am the only one? Everyone thinks that love has to always result in marriage. I am not sure if I even believe that now.

Although, I have a great capacity to love, I have avoided becoming vulnerable when it comes to my romantic relationships. A few men I have dated wondered why I wasn't always open with my heart.

Experiencing infidelity shattered every idea I held about commitment, loyalty and the sanctity of marriage. Not only have I witnessed betrayal first hand, but I constantly see it in the lives of so many of my loved ones. 

No one talks about emotional or physical affairs their spouses have had. We only show the highlights of our lives on social media. Filtering out what we don't want the world to see, because then they might see the ugliness that sometimes lies beneath the surface.

Here's the thing about writing, when you share your vulnerabilities, people want to share theirs with you. Although, I am honored that someone would entrust me with their secrets, it has come at a costly price. I no longer look at the world through a filtered lens, I see what's right before my eyes and isn't always pretty. 

I know about the affairs that are not shared with anyone else. I know about the texts sent to other women. I see "happily married" men I know with online dating profiles. I know about the Ashley Madison accounts. I know about the Craigslist hookers. I've seen women fall in love with their husband's best friend. I have seen what most people don't want to believe or even talk about. 

So, yes, I am jaded. Who wouldn't be though? I try to be kind and patient with myself, as I am only human. 

While I have protected my heart, I have never allowed anyone into my life.

With this being said, I don't want to be jaded, bitter, sad or build walls that keep lovely people out. I've pushed away good people, because I have been too scared to give anyone a real shot a loving me. 

Over the weekend, one of my girlfriend's had said something really profound, as we were sharing a pint of ice cream on a late Saturday night. She had shared a story of a man telling her sister to just let him love her. 

"Just let me love you."

I forgot how to do this. I want that feeling again. I am tired of building walls.  I want to build a life with someone. I cannot do that if I am constantly pushing good people away who genuinely want to love me.

Truth be told, aside from a few sessions with my private marriage and family therapist, as insurance only covers so much,  and a handful of counseling with my Army chaplain, I never really dealt with my divorce.

As soon as I filed for divorce, I dived right into dating, running from reality and numbing my pain. At the time, I felt the best way to move forward was to completely leave your past behind. Distracting myself with a full life to avoid having to deal with hurt that is very real in my heart. 

I cried during my session because I allowed myself to feel and to admit many truths that I would have never dared to say out loud before. 

As I was writing this post tonight, I had taken a break to talk to my little sister and also clear my head at CrossFit. I desperately needed both. I needed a good heart to heart and a grueling WOD to snap out of it.

Sometimes, I will admit that I get a little too much in my head and over-analyze my life. Maybe it is the Aquarius and writer in me, but I am trying not to be so hard on myself. 

Before I left to workout, because I needed a break from writing, my little sister called me from the East Coast. As I have shared in previous posts, my sister has special needs and is a huge reason why I entered my profession. 

We don't always talk, but today she decided to call me to let me know she just started reading my blog. Honestly, no one in my family ever mentions my blog to me, so I assume not one of them has ever read my writings. 

Yet, Hallie was so excited to tell me she read my latest blog post and she was so proud that I had the courage to write what so many people are actually thinking. 

She couldn't believe her big sister was a "celebrity", which I know I am totally not, but to my little sister I am a shining star. 

It finally hit me that I need to look at my life from a different perspective. 

Immediately, I felt guilty for feeling so f*cking sad for myself. Boo. Hoo. I got a divorce. I am not the only one. 

I felt guilty about focusing on my hangups instead of being happy for my newly engaged friends. I felt so guilty wasting seven years. I have so much already in my life to be grateful for, but I focus on what is wrong with my life. 

My sister was so excited to tell me she can't wait to learn how to ride a city bus on her own and here I was upset over being single for so long. What's wrong with being single? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with being single and through my singleness I have created a beautiful and full life. But we are never satisfied with what we have.

I realized in that moment, I needed to save myself from this funk I have allowed myself to reside in over the last few years. 

I don't want to wake up one day regretting time I had wasted over people that don't even matter anymore. 

I want to live and love with my full heart. I want to let someone love me because I am so worthy of love.

I am FINALLY ready to deal with all my sh*t and write a new chapter in my life. 

I cannot wait to share this wonderful journey with all of you . . . 

So, tonight was my first writing assignment and I hope that someone out gained from this insight and understand you are not the only one who feels this way. 


Sweet Cicily

Dear Diary... No One Is Better Than Anyone

 September 28, 2015

Dear Diary,

I will be the first to admit that I can be very judgmental. It is a character trait which I am not proud to own up to. However, if I want to change this about myself, it's time I started being honest. 

No one is better than anyone, yet so many of us go about our lives ranking our life choices against those around us. 

Let's stop being so judgmental and start being more compassionate.

We constantly compare. We criticize. We judge. We look down from our on social media soap boxes. Just scroll through your Facebook right now and you will witness what I am talking about. 

We judge. Don't kid yourself. Even the best of us. Sometimes openly, other times are just mental notes filed away in our heads. 

Just today, I shared with a friend that I decided to date again and some of the men just happen to be younger than me. Instead of encouragement, I felt her judgment. It didn't feel good, so I decided to leave the conversation. 

Why you ask? Because I have learned over time not to take other's opinions so personally. Like my father has always said, "Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and no one thinks theirs stinks."

Also, it was time I got a taste of my own medicine because, truth be told, she has been on the receiving end of my judgment too. 

Judging is just projecting our own issues onto others. I've projected my issues on many of my friends over the years. It was selfish and I wasn't being a very good friend. I will admit to that.

For instance, when my divorced girlfriends meet new men and start discussing marriage early on, I am quick to add my two cents with cynicism and I can be really harsh. Like really harsh.

Honestly, it has nothing to do with them, but with the messey bullsh*t I am dealing with in my own head and heart when it comes to fidelity and marriage. 

No one is better than anyone. 

I should just learn to be happy for people. It's their life, not mine.  When was the last time you judged another person?

We don't have all the facts or backstories to another person's life, so maybe we need to be less judgey wudgey and more willing to be kinder to those around us.

Oftentimes, we spend our days filtering out our own lives, just enough so the rest of the world can't see our true selves. Yet we are so quick to point out what is wrong with others. 

As I mentioned earlier, I have been guilty of being self righteous and I genuinely don't want to live my life this way any longer. 

Although, on the outside I may appear to be accepting, compassionate and understanding; this is an ugliness that I desperately want to carve out of my heart. 

I am a work in progress. We are all a work in progress.

Unless you are Mother Teresa, you are probably guilty of this as well. After all, we are dealing with the complexity of the human ego.

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. We are all vulnerable. We shouldn't attack other people.

Each and everyone of us has a history filled with sometimes good choices and sometimes bad choices. I've come to understand that this does not make us either a good or bad person, it simply makes us perfectly imperfect humans. 

So, the next time criticism creep into your thoughts or on the tip of your tongue, I want you take pause and place yourself in that person's shoes for just a brief moment. How would you want to be treated?


Sweet Cicily 

Why You Need To Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

“Our thoughts make us what we are.” 
-Dale Carnegie

Our lives would much easier and we would be much happier if we did this one simple thing. Stop worrying about what other people think about us.

I stopped giving a damn about other people's opinions of me a long time ago. 

Don't mistake this as me not giving a f*ck or not caring about other people, but rather fully embracing loving myself just the way I am and not how I want others to see me. A complete contrast to my people pleasing personality.

This is me. Full of awes and full of flaws. Take it or leave it.
Really think about it. If we learned to just accept ourselves for who we are and worried less about how the world perceives us to be, our energy could be channeled into more productive outlets. 

We'd probably spend less time chasing material possessions and social statuses. We could just be human and treat each other as such. 

Our society has it all wrong. So wrong.

Instead of keeping up with the Kardashians, constantly comparing ourselves to the Facebook lives of our friends or pretending to be someone we are not; we could just be ourselves. What a concept. We could finally be real. 

Unfortunately, so many people today are cruel, judgmental and just plain rude a**holes.

I've witnessed this in the past few days. It breaks my heart, but I feel this is an important experience we can learn from. 

Ever since I came out publicly to the world that I have been living with HSV2, the Herpes Simplex Virus, I have received nothing but wonderful support from my family, friends and readers of my blog. 

For years I lived in a darkened closet of fear, shame and silence. I was scared to tell anyone that I had been diagnosed with genital herpes, hell I couldn't even utter the words before without crying. 

I felt alone. I felt like a leper. I couldn't have been more wrong.

It took me a few years of self discovery and finding a wonderful support system to realize that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.

At some point, I realized this was no way to live my life, hiding in a cramped, dark closet. After praying on it, I decided to step out into the world. I literally shared my story with the entire world. 

Not only does my "I Have Herpes" YouTube video has over 6,000 views, but my most recent published article on Elephant Journal reached over 40,000 views. 

Over the past week, I have received a flood of emails from all around the world of beautiful people telling me their stories of how they too have HSV1 or HSV2. 

Reading some of their stories sadden me at first, as many share the same fears and worry that their lives are over. Sadly, many of these individuals face severe depression and given up on their lives. 

When I read how my story and attitude have changed their lives, I know am doing good in the world.

I know. I know. I know. You are probably like, "Is this girl talking about herpes AGAIN?!"

Yes. Yes I am and I will continue if I feel inspired to share my story.

Although, initially I was hesitant publishing my herpes piece on such a popular and widespread publication, I decided to follow my gut instinct.

As a writer, I realize by putting myself out there in the world, I am bound to face internet trolls, but fortunately so far I have  received nothing but encouragement. 

However, it isn't always this way and just shows you just how much more our society needs to educate itself on sexual health. 

Over the past few months, I have connected with other public and well known individuals who are also living with herpes. Including, Ella Dawson, a young woman whose genital herpes story has gone viral twice around the world. 

Ella was most recently featured in a piece on living with herpes that was published on BuzzFeed that reached millions of viewers. 

Unlike my article on Elephant Journal, some of the Facebook commenters were not as kind. Although, Dawson describes herself as Teflon, not letting their ignorance and negativity affect her, she is still a human being with feelings. 

As Ella states in her personal blog post, "The classic mantra of reading, writing and merely existing on the Internet is 'Don't read the comments.' Internet comments, and Facebook comments in particular, are widely discredited as a cesspool of nastiness and trolling."

I made the mistake and read the comments. Like Ella, I have become Teflon, allowing others comments and opinions slide right off me. 

I knew my decision to go with Elephant Journal was right for me, as it is a more enlightened readership.

Although, there was some intelligent dialogue, there was also were terrible human beings telling her to shut her legs and take a Valtrex. It is easy to be an asshole when you can hide behind a computer screen. 

Sadly, it got worse with the immaturity and ugliness. Stigma everywhere. Slut shaming. Judgement. It was awful and my heart bled for this brave woman. No one deserves to be treated this way.

Can you understand why someone would be afraid to come out of their herpes closet?

Take it from me. I would much rather have herpes than be an asshole. Unlike herpes, there is no pill you can take to make your ignorance, hatred and stupidity go away. 

There are MILLIONS of people throughout the world who are living with both HSV1 and HSV2. We have all worried at some point what other people will think of us. I read their very personal and private letters to me all the time.

Literally people were coming out of the wood works to tell me, "I have herpes too! No one knows." Friends, strangers and even someone who visited my CrossFit box from out of state and found my blog. They had herpes too!

I stopped feeling alone because literally millions of people have in. Statistically, 1 in 4 of you reading this blog have either been diagnosed or have yet to be diagnosed with herpes.

Oh, and for those of you with mouth cold sores, you have herpes too like 80% of the population. See. It is pretty common!


As mentioned before, millions of people have the herpes virus, yet only a small percentage know they have the virus. 

I am very proud to be at the forefront of this movement to erase stigma and embrace awareness when it comes to having HSV.  I think the Ellas, Adrials and Kristys of the world are badasses. I get to be a badass.

I also want to be a light of hope for others to see that this is not the end of the world and life can really be wonderful despite this pesky virus. 

Let's be straight, my life has not been perfect and many sh*tty things have happened to me, but I refuse to walk around being a victim and giving up on life. 

There are people in the world who wish herpes was their biggest problem. I am not trying to make light of serious issue, but want you to know not to take yourself so damn seriously. 

Just last week, I received an email from a woman asking me how I deal with being alone and what other people will think of me. 

Immediately, I responded honestly, "I am not alone. I am surrounded by all the right people who love me and whom I love. I stopped worrying about what other people think of me. It's exhausting. I'm done living in fear. I'm choosing to be me. I'm choosing to be happy. The end."

I meant every single word.

I love who I am. I really love me now. 

Do you want to spend your life living in fear of REJECTION or would you REGRET not living your life authentically?

I don't know about you, but life is a gift and I am not about to waste it worrying about Tom, Dick or Harry's opinion about my life. 

Never forget that you are incredible, adorable, lovable, wonderful, powerful, perfectly beautiful just the way you are!


Sweet Cicily

Why I Am Not Afraid To Tell People I Have Herpes

Nearly 40,000 more people in the world now know my not so little secret. 

My name is Cicily and I have been living with HSV2, for over five years now. I'd like to share with you why I am not afraid to tell people that I have herpes. 

Millions of people throughout the world share this same virus. Statistically speaking, nearly one in four people have genital herpes, yet 80% of those individuals have not been diagnosed because they are either asymptomatic (show no visible symptoms) or mistook it as a symptom for something else (i.e. ingrown hair, pimple, yeast infection, jock itch, etc.)

Earlier this week, I wrote a piece titled What Is It Like To Have  Herpes and it was published on the popular spiritual wellness website Elephant Journal. When I first submitted the piece, I was unsure it would be picked up for publication. Although more publications are covering sexual health articles, herpes still has a negative stigma attached to it.

Before I go any further, I did want to note here that the editor made edits to my piece, by changing the statistics of 1 in 4 to 1 in 6, to reflect the CDC website, which is actually not accurate.  

I am happy to tell people I have herpes because I want to spread knowledge and fact, not shame and stigma. 

People are fearful of things they don't understand. So, I would love to share what I do know about the herpes virus. 

As Dr. Anna Kaminski (PP) has stated, "It's really important for people to understand how common herpes is, and how little problems it causes."

According to the resource and support forum website Herpes Opportunity:
  • Over 25 million Americans (14-49) years old (16.2%) have genital herpes.

  • 2,000 new herpes cases a day.

  • 80% have oral HSV1 (cold sores)

  • 80%  of the 16.2% with genital herpes does not know they have it.
If you would like more accurate and detailed information, please visit the website for your free download ebook and handouts.

If you are new to my blog, I collaborated with the founder of the Herpes Opportunity website, Adrial Dale, and came out to the world in a personal interview on YouTube.

Sharing my story with the world gave me the opportunity for me to take control of my life, instead of continuing to allow a virus to dictate my happiness.

I am not ashamed of having herpes, I am proud that I am now am at the forefront of change and being a voice for inspiration to millions of other people in the world.

Despite my hesitation and fear, I knew I  could not pass up this opportunity to spread acceptance, awareness and empower other individuals living with herpes.

I want others to see how it isn't the end of the world. It isn't fatal. It's just a nuisance and a lot of it is in your head. 

Seriously, there are far more worse things in the world than herpes. If herpes is your biggest problem, then you are blessed. It isn't cancer and it isn't life threatening like living in a war zone. It is a skin condition that just happens that is totally misunderstood.

Sharing my experiences on such a public forum has allowed me to connect with so many other people living in their own dark closets. 

Life is too short to live in a dark, cramped closet. 

Perhaps, my act of courage and sharing my story will inspire others to step out of their own closets.
I've been out of my closet for over a year. Turns out my herpes was a much more big deal to me than it was to other people. 

However, I do know what it is like to live in fear of people finding out your "dirty" little secret. I know what it is like to fear being rejected because you wear the scarlet letter "H". I know what it is like to feel as if you will never be loved again.

On the flip side, I know what it is like to have come out to the whole entire world and still have people love me unconditionally. I want them to know your life isn't over just because you have herpes. I want them to know that you are still desirable and very much worthy of love. I want them to know they are not defined by virus.

I cannot tell you how many of my loved ones have come out to me. You would be surprised just how many people in your life have herpes, but live with this secret because they feel the world will reject them.

It's totally fucked up and I want to change how we perceive this virus and ourselves.

Let's face it. Everyone is having sex, but very few people actually understand the realities of having sex.

If you have EVER had sex, you are at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. But, no one wants to listen until it's too late.  

Ignorance is bliss, but hopefully I can open your eyes to taking control of your sexual health.

As soon as it was published, I was overwhelmed with the positive responses from readers and just how fast my very personal piece was spreading throughout the world. 

Literally, in 24 hours my story had reached almost 40,000 new readers. Within an hour of the article being published online, I had received encouraging emails from wonderful people from all over the United States, Australia, Canada, Asia and Europe:

"You truly are something else, Cicily! You have not only made my whole day, you have changed my life. I could never thank you enough. It's because of you that I no longer feel disgusting.. Or unworthy.. Thank you.. Thank you so much!!"

"Thank you so much for your article on herpes. It was very empowering for me and your bravery is truly appreciated! Thank you so much Cicily"

"Thank you so much for your sharing your story... I to live with hsv2 and I know what it's like to live with the outbreaks and deal with the stigma that comes along with it.... I found out 4 years ago but I've been living with virus undetected since I was raped at 12 Im now 24.. Thank you for sharing your story and letting other woman know we're going to be ok."

 "Feeling better about my situation since reading ur story thank you so much for sharing I found out in 2007 I have it too - had no idea only found out because I had what I thought was an ingrown hair turns out I thought wrong - I have not told anyone not family or my best friend mainly because of the stigma around it - reading ur story gave me feelings of hope for future love and acceptance - thank u so very much for sharing your story for your courage and your honesty."

Although I have been public about my herpes, it doesn't mean I am not immune to fear rejection or feel momentarily sad over my situation. After all, I am only human and want to be be loved just like anyone else. 

Truth be told, at times I question whether my decision to be so public about my herpes was the right decision for myself. 

While I know many couples who have found love and marriage with partners who do not have herpes, I have only met one person who is as public with their status as I am and has a partner who is completely accepting and supportive.

Out of the millions of people who are living with herpes, just a handful of us our in the world spreading advocacy. 

Despite being completely comfortable with my herpes status, I am sure it might be difficult for my future love interests.

It's one thing for it to be completely private between a couple and another where the whole world knows you are with someone who is carrying the HSV virus.

I know there is NOTHING wrong with having herpes, but I am still mindful we still live in a world that has attached a negative stigma to it.

I have had many men tell me they love me, but I know none of them were confident enough in themselves to stand by my side.

However, I know that God has planted this in my heart and HE has selected a man for me who is as equally confident in himself, believes in me and supports my decisions.

He will see past my herpes and really see me...I mean really see me for the beautiful and loving human being that I am.

I may have herpes, but I also have a huge heart of gold. 

When I find myself questioning my actions, I will read through all the wonderful emails that were sparked by me being completely transparent with the world.

At the end of the day, I will know that I have made a positive impact on so many other people's lives, for this is why I am not afraid to tell people I have herpes.

You are not alone....

Sweet Cicily

Find Your Tribe. Love Them Hard.

When you find your tribe, love them hard.

Over two and a half years ago I first walked into CrossFit Kailua's box without having any expectations or an understanding just exactly what I was getting myself into. 

Little did I know that I would soon find my tribe.

After dating a CrossFitter at another box on the island, he convinced me to take a free Introduction Class at the box located in my community.  It didn't take long for me to fall in love with CrossFit. 

Although, it never worked out with my CrossFitter, I will never forget his last words to me, "Welcome to the family."

He was right. CrossFit has become my family. CrossFit has become my tribe.

According to the author Seth Godin,

“A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea. For millions of years, human beings have been part of one tribe or another. A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.”

Every CrossFit athlete is connected to one another, connected to a leader and connected to an idea. Our tribe spans across the globe. Although we may speak different languages, we share the same heart and a love for the box life.

No matter where I traveled in the world, from Australia to Indonesia, CrossFitter bonds are unbreakable and you will always have an instant friend.  I've shared beers with CrossFitters in Bali bars and did handstands (she did, not me) in front of the Sydney Opera House. We are all brothers and sisters. 

Over the holiday weekend, I had the opportunity to spend time with my CrossFit Ohana in Hawaii, as we gathered to cheer on a few of our members competing in the annual Hawaii VA Games. 

Aside from the CrossFit Open held at my box, I have never been to an actual CrossFit competition, but I felt this would be a great way to support my friends from CrossFit Kailua. 

For the past few months, I have been watching some of our members at the box train in the competitors class, as they were training for the VA Games. Of course I would be there to support them. That is what family does. 

Honestly, their sheer determination and athleticism amazes me. Let's be honest. I am not the most gifted in sports and I will never reach their levels. However, watching them inspires you to become a better athlete. 

So, from 9am to 4pm, I sat in the crowds, showing my tribe my support and loving them hard through cheering, hugs and screaming till I was hoarse. 

It was really great watching all these wonderful competitors, through the triumphs and struggles. Listening to the crowds cheer and roar for all the competitors, pushing them to lift that heavy weight over the heads.

We lost our minds when we saw our teams in the lead. We jumped out of our seats when saw our sisters get their muscle ups. We laughed when Zana was dancing on the competition floor...because that was just so Zana. 

This is why I love this tribe of mine. We never tear each other down. We lift each other up. Even if we are complete strangers. 

While I tend to be one of the more shy and quieter members at the box,  I have a heart filled with great love for everyone who walks through those doors.

I'm so very proud to know these wonderful people. Congratulations to all the athletes at CrossFit Kailua who ranked 4th place out of 44 teams at the CrossFit Hawaii VA Games. All your dedication and hard work has paid off.  You are already winners in your loved ones hearts.

Whatever you are passionate about in life, that is where you will find your tribe. 

I hope you enjoy the photographs highlighting this weekend! 

What did you do this weekend?



CrossFit Kailua

I Can't Believe What My Date Said

"Tell a woman she is beautiful instead of hot. "

 Have you ever been a bad date? Like a really, really, really bad date.

 Unfortunately, I have been on far too many, but at least I always walk away it wither either a lesson learned or a really funny story to tell.

I am going to share some of my all time favorite first day quotes from the men I have met from online dating.

If you know me, I am a sucker for a good old fashioned black and white movie. I love, love, love men like Gregory Peck, Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant! Men who were men. Who dressed like proper men, spoke with charm and knew how to treat a lady. I know that was all Hollywood, but a girl can dream, right?

Sadly, my generation doesn't have many men like this left, just a bunch of donkeys, with no manners. I think Michael Buble was one of the rare examples of this type of man. That is probably about it. Some lucky lady already married him too! Dangit.

I am head over heels when it comes to a gentleman. I love a smart, compassionate, witty and worldly man. Now THAT, is sexy! What happened to courting? What happened to picking up the phone? Not this texting bologna.  Where is the human element in dating? Did we leave it back in the 1940s?

I have always wondered, would Cary Grant ask Deborah Kerr, on a first date, "Are your boobs real?" Would Jimmy Stewart, ask his date out for coffee and not even pay for the coffee? My brain really goes there.

Now, I have created the visuals for you, to show the men and women out there, in the dating world, just how ridiculous people sound when they utter these rude statements.

You would be surprised, it is the men readers, who write me the most for dating advice. Here is my advice, fellas, if you want to get the girl, for the love of God, please cut this stuff out. I am a grown woman, not a silly little girl.  This is not cute, this makes you look like a immature fool.

Man up! Learn some respect. Be the man, you were meant to be! Stop asking women about her BOOBS, otherwise you are going to look like an even bigger BOOB.

So, here is a few of my favorite actors from old school Hollywood, but quoting several of my dates. I swear ever single one of these is true and I was swore I was being punked. Like, did he just say what I thought he said!
It is uber dissapointing, when your cute Gregory Peck look alike date, turns to you after dinner and says, "Blowie???"

I will never forget Mr. Steak Sex Fella, who asked me in the first 10 minutes of our first and only date, "Are we going to have sex tonight?" He then proceeded to tell me, he hoped I did not want to have more kids, because he had a vasectomy.  According to my smooth date, he didn't want a FOURTH baby mama.

It got better, he begged to let me stay at my house, because he would have to sleep in his car. I told him I hope he found a good place to park his car, so he could sleep well in it.

One of my first dates, was with Mr. StarbucksShades. Who wears Oakleys in Starbucks? No offense, but who wears Oakleys from 1995? I was staring at my reflection for an hour.

He also told me he wanted to punch two people in the face, as they passed our table. Clearly, the girl who wore UGGS, upset him and was asking for a face punch?! I never ran so fast for the car in all my life.

What girl doesn't love to go on a "date" with a doctor, to only be told,"Ugh. I don't go on dates. I'm a doctor."  I looked at him and asked him what he thinks we were doing.

He continued to refer to himself as "a doctor" *insert snooty accent* the entire evening. Turns out, one of my close friends knew him. First thing she asked me, "Does he call himself 'dooooooooooctor'?" What's up with that doc?!

Now here is my favorite, because I get it all the time. "Are your boobs real?" "What size are your boobs?" Maybe that should be saved for when you are in an intimate relationship, NOT your first dinner date.

However, it is just plain bad manners when you ask a stranger this question. How would it be if the roles were reversed. What would it feel like, if I was objectifying some guys junk? It just comes off creepy and I immediately lose interest, if that is where the conversation is headed.

If you want to see my big boobs, you are gonna have to ALSO get to know my big brain and bigger heart FIRST!

Thank you so much again for following and reading my blog today! I want to hear from you so make sure to connect with me today or on  Facebook Sweet Cicily.

What was the most interesting thing a man/woman has told you on a first date?

Sweet Cicily

Why I Talk About Herpes Video Blog

"Be real instead of being perfect."

Hello there! I hope you enjoy today's video blog. I wanted to give a huge thanks to all my new readers that I have connected with on Elephant Journal today. It is always exciting for me to meet new people and be able to share my story with the world.

Don't be shy, reach out to me. I promise I don't bite! 

I am really excited to share some wonderful news with you in my video tonight. Although it is a little longer that I would like to keep my videos, I promise you it is heartfelt and you will walk away with a warm fuzzy feeling.

I hope everyone else had an amazing day as well! I would LOVE to hear about your day as well. Make sure to email me at or connect with me on Facebook now. 


Sweet Cicily